Examining a sample student six-source essay

As you compare the two essays, consider the following information:

Transitions are like signs for your readers. They give direction and they help to link things together. Good transitions move the reader from one point to the next, and they also focus the attention of the reader on the main idea of the essay. You can use words or phrases as transitions, but you must be careful to choose words that indicate the right relationship between ideas. Here are a few examples of relationships you can indicate with transitions: (1) to show addition: and, also, in addition, furthermore. (2) to give examples: for example, for instance, specifically (3) to compare: also, likewise, similarly (4) to contrast: however, on the other hand, yet, although (5) to summarize or conclude: therefore, in other words (6) to show time: after, before, during, next, finally, meanwhile, immediately (7) to show place or direction: above, below, nearby, close, far, left, right (8) to indicate logical relationships: therefore, consequently, as a result, thus, since, because.

After reading over the two articles and the information above, please answer the following questions:

• How has the author improved, or changed, the material from the 4 source essay to the 6 source essay?
• What sources has she added? What effect do the new source(s) have on the paper?
• Pick a paragraph section of the 6 source draft where synthesis needs to be improved, such as paragraph 3, and add an appropriate transitional phrase/sentence.